The Arno River in Florence

Never fear, I am not in the hands of Italian police nor signed up for any sort of communist revolt. I have been having a lot of fun, traveling a lot and simply removed from the Internet throughout most of my stay in Florence.

After three fun days in Monterosso, three of us — Jesse, Steve and I — headed down to Firenze to experience the wonders of Tuscany. Our first night, we were stuck in a dive hostel called the David Inn, featuring mondo-stoned receptionists, ice cold showers and no locks anywhere. Truth be told, it was fine; it just lacked measurable character.

The next morning, we took off early to check into the best hostel in town: the Ostello Archi Rossi, where the Internet is free and so are the scrambled eggs. Archi Rossi has two patios where I have recently learned, among other things, the broad Australian usage of the word piss. The hostel — like the Young & Happy in Paris — dodges many of the frat tools and attracts a more interesting breed of travelers.

Web 2.0 gondolas in Venice

My pals Jesse and Steve took off for Southern Italy on Friday and since then I have done a few daytrips. Friday I revisited rainy Venice and was sufficiently underwhelmed. Historically speaking, it’s a wonder of the world, but today the canals smell horrible and its tourist-trapiness has grown out of control. A swim in the canals would be ill-advised, even for my college friend Willy who would probably drink the water from the Ganges.

Commercialism in Venice seems to have grown worse (I didn’t realize this was possible) since the last time I had visited, five summers ago. Street vendors who once sold their wares on a towel along the canals now have wooden stands that probably double as Wi-Fi hotspots. Dozens of prefab neo-gondolas sit in rows, most closely resembling the paddle boat marina at Chicago’s public zoo. Call me a cynic, but how is this place considered even remotely romantic anymore?

Siena, Italy

Yesterday I daytripped to Siena, a beautiful little hill town, featuring a large wall, some breathtaking views of the countryside and a great vibe. The train ride out and the bus ride back were especially scenic… lots of grassy fields, farmland and those tall Tuscan trees. Most of the pedestrians were tourists, but not the obnoxious ones I found in Venice.

Today I meant to wake up early and go see the famous Uffizi art museum in Florence, but there was a lot of boozing going on last night, so instead I climbed up a hill along the Arno and caught some great bird’s-eye views of the city. Tomorrow I am off to luxurious Lake Como for a day of relaxation before tackling Interlaken and Switzerland.

Florence from above

A few observations. Fines are everywhere on the Italian train system. It pays to be a little smart, e.g., buying tickets for the train you are riding. On the train to Siena yesterday, six people in my car — of ten — were fined for carrying the wrong ticket, no ticket, or just being morons. One of the guys at my hostel says he was fined on the train from Rome to Florence because he had his feet on a chair. Seven Euros for a footrest!

Also, it’s becoming abundantly clear why Europeans tend to be annoyed with American tourists. Carrying massive wheeled suitcases, the Ugly Americans complain about narrow sidewalks, bumpy streets, dirty buildings and more things they have no reason to whine about. This is Europe, and it’s not perfect, but we must adapt. And, on a side note, once you’ve smelled the Wal-Mart perfume of a Texan tour group marching across Paris, claiming that even the French smell is ludicrous.